Archive for March, 2009

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Patient… Clients… Consumers… Guests???

26 March 2009

Call me paternalistic, but the people in the bed (or on the trolley) that I am charged with looking after are my patients.

They are are not, as far as I am concerned, “clients” or “consumers”. To me, these labels are pissy PC labels that unknown wankers have decided are more appropriate; designed to give patients a sense of control in what is otherwise an alienating system. By labeling patients in such ways, it gives the sense that they are somehow customers who have the ability to pick and choose the type of care and the place that they recieve it. It gives the sense that such “consumers” are empowered to make the sorts of decisions about their health akin to those made when going out and making a consumer purchase like a TV or lounge suite.

Now granted, in the Australian context, if you’ve got private health cover you have the ability to choose your doctor. But really, unless you really know anything about the doctor you choose, and about the implications of choosing them over another doc, this really doesn’t mean much.

Then, I begin to wonder. Should we treat our patients as consumers? Check their credit before dispatching an ambulance, as in the novel Jennifer Government?

I’ve looked after a lot of lovely people. But given the number of complete tards that I have nursed, I can assure you that “the customer is always right” does not cut the mustard with me.

I guess my biggest objection to such terminology is the idea that such labels mean that patients are somehow falsely empowered with the notion that they truly have choice and control over their “health transaction”. The drunk guy with the sub-dural that comes through the doors is incapable of exercising his consumer power – he needs to be cared for. Little Esme who has tripped over in the garden and done her NOF isn’t in hospital to shop for a new hip, followed by a coffee and boob job. She is there to receive medical attention and be cared for. I look at the patients that come into ICU and do not see a single one who is there out of choice, or who is capable of shopping for a treatment in their size & colour.

When I look after someone, they are my patient.

When I am sick, I would rather be someone’s patient, than their customer, consumer, or client.

And as if these terms didn’t irritate me enough, now there appears to be “guest”. WTF? That’s right. I came across this one recently in a journal article:

Reishtein, J. (2005) ‘Sleep in Mechanically Ventilated Patients’, Critical Care Clinics of North America, vol.17, pp251-255.

Hospitals are infamous as places where people cannot sleep, and critical care units seem to be the worst offenders in denying thier guests rest and sleep.

I don’t want to be looked after by a doctor or nurse that thinks of me as a “guest”.

I wonder whether the doorman, concierge, or manager at the next hotel/motel/resort that you stay at will have as much concern/responsibility for the the health & welfare of you, as their guest, that a doctor or nurse has for their patients.

Somehow, I think not…

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The Encyclopaedic Ward

19 March 2009

Even before he opened his mouth, it was obvious that he was frightfully British. He and his wife were wandering in the hallway near the library and were obviously lost.

“Excuse me”, I said. “You look lost. Can I help you?”

“Why, thank you” he said in the voice dripping with gin & tonic, stiff upper lips, and the majesty of the Empire. He turned to his wife and continued, “here we are Margery, this young doctor will steer us in the right direction.”

“Actually sir, I’m not a doctor. I’m a Registered Nurse. But that aside, where are you heading?”

“Well young man, we are looking for our friend who is a patient. The poor chap has broken his hip. Could you please direct us to the encyclopaedic ward?”

“The encyclopaedic ward?” I asked. “Are you sure you’re not after the orthopaedic ward?”

“No, young man. I am quite sure that he told us to come and visit him on the encyclopaedic ward.” He turned to his wife, “Isn’t that right, Margery? Yes, I am quite sure. The encyclopaedic ward, if you please.”

As I pointed down the hallway towards the library entrance, I said, “Sir, I believe that you’ll find the entrance to the encyclopaedic ward just down there on your left. Now, if you’re unable to find your friend in there, may I suggest taking the lift to level 2 and looking in orthopaedic ward.”

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Image of the month – March

7 March 2009

bordist-11

I should point out that one of my pet hates is when people leave urine bottles on bedside tables. It makes me get all Bruce Bannerish. Seriously, who in their right mind would want a bottle of pee left where they eat. It’s just poor form – use a bottle hanger instead.

And no, I have no idea why someone would be drinkng from a urine bottle…