The Encyclopaedic Ward

Even before he opened his mouth, it was obvious that he was frightfully British. He and his wife were wandering in the hallway near the library and were obviously lost.

“Excuse me”, I said. “You look lost. Can I help you?”

“Why, thank you” he said in the voice dripping with gin & tonic, stiff upper lips, and the majesty of the Empire. He turned to his wife and continued, “here we are Margery, this young doctor will steer us in the right direction.”

“Actually sir, I’m not a doctor. I’m a Registered Nurse. But that aside, where are you heading?”

“Well young man, we are looking for our friend who is a patient. The poor chap has broken his hip. Could you please direct us to the encyclopaedic ward?”

“The encyclopaedic ward?” I asked. “Are you sure you’re not after the orthopaedic ward?”

“No, young man. I am quite sure that he told us to come and visit him on the encyclopaedic ward.” He turned to his wife, “Isn’t that right, Margery? Yes, I am quite sure. The encyclopaedic ward, if you please.”

As I pointed down the hallway towards the library entrance, I said, “Sir, I believe that you’ll find the entrance to the encyclopaedic ward just down there on your left. Now, if you’re unable to find your friend in there, may I suggest taking the lift to level 2 and looking in orthopaedic ward.”